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MenStyle Analyst Chas Darby Talks Fashion Fauxs For Men




Anyone who has observed the garish parade that has passed for hipster fashion these past few years has no doubt noticed a disturbing new trend: The Bierdo. The flannels and the skinny jeans were bad enough! Now its all the rage to grow a long disgusting beard,start literallly shitting on yourself, and asking every guy that passes in the street, working hard for his new Italian pointy shoes and two collared shirts, for spare change. I'm not the one with the million dollar Indie rock record deal!

Now, I'm not knocking the idea of going out into the middle of nowhere, chopping wood and growing a beard like a real man, and some of the music isn't so bad (I like sitting in my office and listening to some Fleet Foxes or Iron & Wine every now and then, you know, reliving my Dave Matthews college days.)But is it so wrong that I like my popstars in eye-liner, and not puking on themselves in the middle of the sidewalk with their junky-chic puppy eating it? And when did American Apparel start selling over sized piss-soaked military jackets?

So note to all you hipster bierdos out there: No one cares how cool you are at the Beauty Bar because you twitch and mumble and shit on yourself. If you want respect in the real world then trim your beard, buy some product, and quit screaming about Satan.

Your Typical Hipster "Bierdo":

We invented this for all you dumb fucks who think it's clever, funny and/or cool in any way. As a bonus for all who purchase this stupid piece of shit in the next 24 hours, Julian, Oliver and Merlin (Presidents of Coattails) will personally call you with a barrage of insulting put downs and hateful slurs. You're welcome, loser.