coattails.org
SCANDAL: COATTAILS STAFF ADMITS TO GETTING HIGH...CONSTANTLY!
By Coattails.org Staff
Huh? Oh. I'm like writing an article. Okay. So like the staff of Coattails.org, amid allega...allagations? Allegations of drug-use being the cause for their lack of posting new materials on the once thriving, um, Coattails.org website, has admitted it. But like, not the hard stuff...except for some of us, it's a big staff. And what defines "hard stuff" anyways? I mean, I think it all depends on how well you function day-to-day, and how well you can keep up on your obligations. Oops! Wrote myself into a little corner there! Man, no wonder we never do this writing stuff...what was I saying?
Oh, yeah, mostly we just smoke a little weed! Sure we're hop-heads, we like that mother-of pearl, but we ain't like, on junk all the time, and most of us don't use needles when we are! I mean, man, even the president SMOKES heroin, that's completely different than using needles*. But like, we're clean. Now. Totally. I mean, not most of us. But most of us are. So like...more posting, yay! Right? Ugh.
Anyways, reports hint that the famed MashTV arm of the Coattails.org beast is suffering from Merlin only wanting to post Soul Asylum and Space videos (they did that song "Female of the Species", remeber?) on the site, which are for all intents and purposes, only cool when you're in the room, um, NOT doing drugs with Merlin. A rep for Mr. Mannelly had no comment on the subject. At least he seemed like a rep, he holds a sign that says "NEED A HUG...BUT $ WILL DO(smily face)" outside of Starbucks (Can we say "Starbucks" on national internet?). Any case, sounds like a rep to us.
Reforms are reportedly on the way though, guys. I heard this guy has this new stuff that is like, energy weed, like, you totally can do stuff on it. We're getting a bunch! Also, in related news, Oliver is a fag. This is the staff of Coattails.org, singing off.
*The Coattails.org staff doesn't judge!
posted by Merlin # 6:09 PM 
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By Coattails.org Staff
Huh? Oh. I'm like writing an article. Okay. So like the staff of Coattails.org, amid allega...allagations? Allegations of drug-use being the cause for their lack of posting new materials on the once thriving, um, Coattails.org website, has admitted it. But like, not the hard stuff...except for some of us, it's a big staff. And what defines "hard stuff" anyways? I mean, I think it all depends on how well you function day-to-day, and how well you can keep up on your obligations. Oops! Wrote myself into a little corner there! Man, no wonder we never do this writing stuff...what was I saying?
Oh, yeah, mostly we just smoke a little weed! Sure we're hop-heads, we like that mother-of pearl, but we ain't like, on junk all the time, and most of us don't use needles when we are! I mean, man, even the president SMOKES heroin, that's completely different than using needles*. But like, we're clean. Now. Totally. I mean, not most of us. But most of us are. So like...more posting, yay! Right? Ugh.
Anyways, reports hint that the famed MashTV arm of the Coattails.org beast is suffering from Merlin only wanting to post Soul Asylum and Space videos (they did that song "Female of the Species", remeber?) on the site, which are for all intents and purposes, only cool when you're in the room, um, NOT doing drugs with Merlin. A rep for Mr. Mannelly had no comment on the subject. At least he seemed like a rep, he holds a sign that says "NEED A HUG...BUT $ WILL DO(smily face)" outside of Starbucks (Can we say "Starbucks" on national internet?). Any case, sounds like a rep to us.
Reforms are reportedly on the way though, guys. I heard this guy has this new stuff that is like, energy weed, like, you totally can do stuff on it. We're getting a bunch! Also, in related news, Oliver is a fag. This is the staff of Coattails.org, singing off.
*The Coattails.org staff doesn't judge!
posted by Merlin # 6:09 PM