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TWO ULTIMATE HOLIDAY BUMMERS
Ultimate Bummer #1:
Police are treating the San Francisco Zoo as a crime scene today, one day after a 350-pound tiger escaped and attacked three visitors from San Jose, killing a 17-year-old boy before hunting down and seriously injuring two of his friends. Here's what they had to say:
It was supposed to be the best holiday ever. We spent all Christmas morning smoking this ounce of weed I got from my Uncle Pete, and we were fucking bored so we started talking about going to the zoo and looking at the monkeys all stoned and shit. It was Carlos' idea dude. He was all, "bro, you know what we should do this Christmas?" And we were like "smoke this ounce of Uncle Pete weed and go to the fucking zoo?" And he's all "exactly!" So we go to the fucking zoo and this shit happens. It's so fucking annoying dude. There's nothing much we can fucking do now. This will be investigated, it's going to take some time.
Carlos Sousa Jr. was killed Christmas evening outside the tiger grotto, which is protected by a 25- to 30-foot-wide moat and 14-foot-high wall. Tatiana, a 350-pound Siberian tiger that also attacked a zookeeper almost exactly a year ago, was shot by police as it mauled one of the survivors 300 yards away from the grotto.
Ultimate Bummer #2:
A child playing with the Christmas gift she wanted most was hit and killed on the northwest side Tuesday morning. Seven-year-old Jackie Solis and her brother were riding their new bikes on the 300 block of Basswood Drive and Deniece Street when the girl was hit by a passing vehicle. The unidentified driver told police he didn’t see the child riding. Police said the driver stopped immediately and tried to help. Here's what the driver had to say:
"I wasn't drunk on eggnog wink wink. Naw I'm just kidd'n I had a couple Lone Stars, but don't tell the cops. That little rat came outa nowhere man. I was driv'n along listening to David Allen Coe when all of the sudden I felt a cute little bump in the road. Thought I ran over a goddamn gofer man. Turns out it was a little girl."
Throughout the day, people placed cards, flowers and stuffed animals at a makeshift memorial where the child died. One card read "What were you thinking?" Another simply read "dumbass."
All the parents had to say was "pinche gringo!"
posted by Julian # 5:06 PM 
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Ultimate Bummer #1:
Police are treating the San Francisco Zoo as a crime scene today, one day after a 350-pound tiger escaped and attacked three visitors from San Jose, killing a 17-year-old boy before hunting down and seriously injuring two of his friends. Here's what they had to say:It was supposed to be the best holiday ever. We spent all Christmas morning smoking this ounce of weed I got from my Uncle Pete, and we were fucking bored so we started talking about going to the zoo and looking at the monkeys all stoned and shit. It was Carlos' idea dude. He was all, "bro, you know what we should do this Christmas?" And we were like "smoke this ounce of Uncle Pete weed and go to the fucking zoo?" And he's all "exactly!" So we go to the fucking zoo and this shit happens. It's so fucking annoying dude. There's nothing much we can fucking do now. This will be investigated, it's going to take some time.
Carlos Sousa Jr. was killed Christmas evening outside the tiger grotto, which is protected by a 25- to 30-foot-wide moat and 14-foot-high wall. Tatiana, a 350-pound Siberian tiger that also attacked a zookeeper almost exactly a year ago, was shot by police as it mauled one of the survivors 300 yards away from the grotto.
Ultimate Bummer #2:
A child playing with the Christmas gift she wanted most was hit and killed on the northwest side Tuesday morning. Seven-year-old Jackie Solis and her brother were riding their new bikes on the 300 block of Basswood Drive and Deniece Street when the girl was hit by a passing vehicle. The unidentified driver told police he didn’t see the child riding. Police said the driver stopped immediately and tried to help. Here's what the driver had to say:"I wasn't drunk on eggnog wink wink. Naw I'm just kidd'n I had a couple Lone Stars, but don't tell the cops. That little rat came outa nowhere man. I was driv'n along listening to David Allen Coe when all of the sudden I felt a cute little bump in the road. Thought I ran over a goddamn gofer man. Turns out it was a little girl."
Throughout the day, people placed cards, flowers and stuffed animals at a makeshift memorial where the child died. One card read "What were you thinking?" Another simply read "dumbass."
All the parents had to say was "pinche gringo!"
posted by Julian # 5:06 PM