coattails.org

They remind me of my penis, they're both hard, fast, and loud. And they both need lots of oil and regular "tune ups" if you know what I mean. You know what I mean, right? "Tune ups"? Get it?

Anyways I love my little buddy as much as I love fast cars so when I got this sweet new Mustang GT we decided to put the "tang" in Mustang, and go score some roadtail. Because me and my little buddy can polish more rear end than a body shop working overtime if you know what I mean. I mean my penis has a job at body shop and polishes the rear ends of a lot of cars. And ever since Carlos walked out on the job in the middle of a shift my dick has been pulling down like, 25 hours of overtime a week so he's like, really needin' some roadtail.

So, we get in the car and start cruisin' around with the top down just let it all hang out and that's when it hits me, my penis isn't a sentient being. There is no way it can possibly have a job at a body shop and if it did, it wouldn't be able to cash it's paychecks because it doesn't even have it's own social security number let alone a bank account. Wow! The plot to Ghost Rider made more sense than that.

And that's when I stopped taking Vicoden every day.

The End.