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Three 6 Mafia Has Zero Tolerance
Update: Three 6 Mafia has publicly stated that they love coattails.org! They said and I quote "You guys is cool dudes man"..."Now try weed, blow, and pills all at the same time... That'll put hair on a chest ya dig?"
Back Story:
With songs like "Slob On My Nob", "Week Azz Bitch", "Hoes Can Be Like Niggaz", and "Fuck Y'all Hoes", Oscar winners Three 6 Mafia probably have the highest drug tolerance of anyone that has ever existed on this planet. Or so we thought...
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They drink enough rainbow colored szurp alone to cure flu-like symptoms of every individual in America. When I first tried to contact Triple 6 back in 2004 I promptly got a reply saying "My nigga told me once don't you trust them motherfuckers", which confused me. Maybe he thought I was someone else. The PS read "Don't make me kill, don't make me kill somebody". I was like, "gosh that seems a little excessive". I waited for a year or so before sending another mail. They remembered me and apologized explaining, "We ate so many shrimp, I got iodine poisoning, sorry". This time it seemed like I was making a connection, but I was cautious about approaching them with a question that might hurt their reputation. I sent them a message back saying "Oh, no problem man it's cool, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about something". He replied "All I wanna know is where the cheese at". Ah, cheese is one of my passions so I knew just where to send him; Tillamook! A week later I got a very angry message back explaining, "Do ya niggas want a war wit us? Do ya niggas want to get your head bust?" This time I was really scared so I waited another month before contacting them again.
After about a thousand death threats I ended up sending them the following message in the mail:
Dear Three 6 Mafia,
Why are you so mean to me? Every time I send you an email I get a death threat in return. My friends and I recently tried "Bin Laden Weed" and found that it got us just as high as any other weed. It seems you guys have a low tolerance for THC, which surprises me because you have such a high tolerance for other drugs. I assumed when you made the Bin Laden song that you'd probably been drinking szurp all day, but what's the deal? You said "I never felt this way off one blunt". One blunt?! Are you kidding? You go on to say " My vision getting blurry I'm about to fall asleep / Or am I dying I need to eat 'cause this some potent weed... The picture starting to fade it's getting hard to breathe / I'm blacking out with no post up under my shirt and sleeve". Maybe you were tired that day or something. I'm worried though, and hope that you guys are ok.
Your #1 white fan,
Julian C. Duron
P.S. If it makes you feel any better we also tried szurp one day and passed out spitting up on our selves, then woke up a week later naked in a motel room covered in milk, someone elses blood, and for some reason had hundreds of Jolly Ranchers stuck in our hair.
They never wrote back. For now I feel really good knowing that I could probably smoke Three 6 Mafia under the table.
posted by Julian # 5:05 PM 
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Update: Three 6 Mafia has publicly stated that they love coattails.org! They said and I quote "You guys is cool dudes man"..."Now try weed, blow, and pills all at the same time... That'll put hair on a chest ya dig?"
Back Story:
With songs like "Slob On My Nob", "Week Azz Bitch", "Hoes Can Be Like Niggaz", and "Fuck Y'all Hoes", Oscar winners Three 6 Mafia probably have the highest drug tolerance of anyone that has ever existed on this planet. Or so we thought...
They drink enough rainbow colored szurp alone to cure flu-like symptoms of every individual in America. When I first tried to contact Triple 6 back in 2004 I promptly got a reply saying "My nigga told me once don't you trust them motherfuckers", which confused me. Maybe he thought I was someone else. The PS read "Don't make me kill, don't make me kill somebody". I was like, "gosh that seems a little excessive". I waited for a year or so before sending another mail. They remembered me and apologized explaining, "We ate so many shrimp, I got iodine poisoning, sorry". This time it seemed like I was making a connection, but I was cautious about approaching them with a question that might hurt their reputation. I sent them a message back saying "Oh, no problem man it's cool, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about something". He replied "All I wanna know is where the cheese at". Ah, cheese is one of my passions so I knew just where to send him; Tillamook! A week later I got a very angry message back explaining, "Do ya niggas want a war wit us? Do ya niggas want to get your head bust?" This time I was really scared so I waited another month before contacting them again.
After about a thousand death threats I ended up sending them the following message in the mail:
Dear Three 6 Mafia,
Why are you so mean to me? Every time I send you an email I get a death threat in return. My friends and I recently tried "Bin Laden Weed" and found that it got us just as high as any other weed. It seems you guys have a low tolerance for THC, which surprises me because you have such a high tolerance for other drugs. I assumed when you made the Bin Laden song that you'd probably been drinking szurp all day, but what's the deal? You said "I never felt this way off one blunt". One blunt?! Are you kidding? You go on to say " My vision getting blurry I'm about to fall asleep / Or am I dying I need to eat 'cause this some potent weed... The picture starting to fade it's getting hard to breathe / I'm blacking out with no post up under my shirt and sleeve". Maybe you were tired that day or something. I'm worried though, and hope that you guys are ok.
Your #1 white fan,
Julian C. Duron
P.S. If it makes you feel any better we also tried szurp one day and passed out spitting up on our selves, then woke up a week later naked in a motel room covered in milk, someone elses blood, and for some reason had hundreds of Jolly Ranchers stuck in our hair.
They never wrote back. For now I feel really good knowing that I could probably smoke Three 6 Mafia under the table.
posted by Julian # 5:05 PM